Teratophilia

The attraction to deformed or monstrous people.

That’s just one of many phillia’s I have come to learn about only this one, in a way, was first hand.

A little back story first, when I was 11 or 12 I made the mistake of sleeping with a knit blanket that had caught on my earring in the middle of the night and ripped it out. Now, some 20 odd years later, I still have the split in my ear lobe where my earring was once held.

Never in my life have I had someone use that as a means to try and pick me up until today.

Today a man, lets call him Creepy McCreeperson, came into the store to buy male enhancement pills. After some aggressive small talk he leans in and says “You know, I like to get freaky. I like to please my women, I would lick and suck on that split ear lobe of yours until you scream. Sorry if that sounds like I’m coming on to strong I just tell it like it is.”

Umm….WHAT?!

Gentleman please, an adult store is not the place to try and pick anyone up. Let’s repeat that, an adult store is not the place to pick someone up.

I’m sorry Mr. Creeperson, no you will not get the chance to tongue my deformed earlobe.

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